The Breakfast Chronicles 

May your waivers fail and your bench outscore your starters.


By: League Vice Commish

The Mighty have Fallen: Tale of the Cereal Killers

Today's narrative from the fantasy football world is one tinged with melancholy. B and the Cereal Killers, once the juggernauts of the league with an impressive streak of six consecutive victories, encountered a stunning reversal of fortune. In a twist reminiscent of the biblical tale of David and Goliath, Conner and Wheaties N Scotch managed to topple the Cereal Killers in week 12, marking their first defeat. Adding to the sting, the Cereal Killers could muster only 89 points in this crucial game.

Seeking redemption in a subsequent critical matchup against another playoff contender, B and his team faced another disheartening setback, scoring a mere 87 points. The team that once seemed invincible, echoing the might of Achilles, now appears vulnerable, struck down at their prime. This sudden downturn evokes the legend of Achilles' downfall - a single weakness leading to an unexpected collapse.

The pressing question now is: what path will B and the Cereal Killers choose? Will they extract the metaphorical arrow from their heel and rally back with determination, fighting their way into the playoffs? Or will they succumb to the pressures, reminiscent of Goliath's fall and Achilles' demise, echoing B's 2016 season of a 10-game winning streak that ended in a playoff loss to the 6-7 Fruity Rebbles?

The stakes are high, and the tension palpable. B stands at a crossroads, with the potential to rewrite his team's story. Will he lead the Cereal Killers to a triumphant turnaround, ascending to the pinnacle of success and seizing the coveted Cereal Bowl trophy for the first time in their history? Only time will tell in this gripping saga of resilience, ambition, and the relentless pursuit of glory in the world of fantasy football.

Week in Review

Shit Start of the Week:  Terry McLaurin and Juwan Johnson


In the unpredictable world of fantasy football, this week's lineup featured some notably disappointing performances, particularly from Terry McLaurin of Honey Bunches of Hoes and Juwan Johnson of French Toast Mafia. McLaurin's zero-point showing, often referred to as a 'goose egg', played a significant role in the top-seeded team's surprising defeat by the Big Cat. This outcome has intensified the competition for the number one seed, especially with Honey Bunches of Hoes and Flapjack Dynasty now separated by just a slim margin of 7 points.

Despite the setback, Matt's team retains a strong overall standing, although the lack of points from McLaurin, coupled with Christian Kirk injury, presented a challenging week to overcome the robust performance of Flapjack Dynasty. 

Similarly, Juwan Johnson, expected to receive more targets with Michael Thomas and Shaheed sidelined, ended up contributing a disappointing zero points. This underperformance was especially disheartening given the numerous player byes that already put the team at a disadvantage. I hate Derek Carr, whose current performance might place him among the lower echelons of quarterbacks in the league. 

While this week's outcomes were less than ideal for Matt and I, the focus now shifts to the next week, offering opportunities for strategic reassessments and potential comebacks in the ever-dynamic and exciting fantasy football league.


Clutch Start of the Week: DK Metcalf

This week's fantasy football spotlight shines brilliantly on DK Metcalf, who emerged as the clutch player of the week with an outstanding performance. Scoring a remarkable 34 points, Metcalf not only repeated the feat of last week's top scorer but also played a pivotal role in Graham's triumph. His contribution was instrumental in amassing a league-leading 154 points, securing yet another win for Graham's team and vanquishing The Usurper in a decisive match-up. Despite Dos Eggys' elimination from playoff contention, they hold the power to dramatically alter the playoff landscape by potentially defeating TJ in the upcoming week. This scenario underscores the unpredictability and excitement inherent in fantasy football, where every game holds the potential for surprise outcomes and strategic upheavals. 

The Return of the true Fantasy Reaper


"Guess who's back, back again? Taylor's back, tell a friend! The real Fantasy Reaper has returned to the fantasy football scene, snatching back her infamous title from Graham. It's like an Eminem track come to life - each year, Taylor's knack for drafting players seems to come with a hidden curse, as injury after injury decimates her lineup. It's almost as if drafting a player onto her team should come with a pre-emptive 'Stan' letter, warning them of the impending doom.

This week, the Fantasy Reaper's shadow loomed large, striking down Rhamondre Stevenson and Brian Robinson. They join the grim list alongside Darren Waller, Rashid Shaheed, Jerick McKinnon, and D'Onta Foreman. Kyren Williams, fresh off an injury, might just be trembling in his cleats, knowing the Reaper's gaze could fall on him next.

Despite her valiant efforts, Taylor's situation mirrors the early-season plight of Graham – struggling to field a healthy starting lineup, battling against the odds. While Graham may have briefly held the title, it's clear that Taylor, the true Fantasy Reaper, is back in her element.

So here's a shout-out to all players on the Usyruper – you're gonna need more than just 'Lose Yourself' levels of determination. You're in the Fantasy Reaper's domain now. Godspeed, and may the fantasy football gods be ever in your favor!"




The Cereal Killers VS Scramblers FC


This week's highlight in the fantasy football league is the much-anticipated game between Scramblers FC and Dos Eggys, a matchup that's shaping up to be a dramatic and pivotal encounter. Scramblers FC, managed by TJ, is fresh off a crucial victory against The Cereal Killers, a win that was essential for keeping their playoff dreams alive. However, the path to the playoffs for Scramblers FC is fraught with challenges. Not only does TJ need to secure a win this week, but he also requires either The Cereal Killers or Wheaties N Scotch to lose, or he must outscore their points for (PF) to clinch a playoff spot.

The task ahead is daunting, especially as Scramblers FC faces the resurgent Dos Eggys. Despite a season plagued by injuries and a position at the lower end of the league standings, Dos Eggys, helmed by Graham, have recently found their stride. The team has been on a scoring tear, amassing over 150 points in each of the last two weeks and notching up a formidable 139 points in week 11, contributing to a three-game winning streak.

For TJ, along with Conner and Trooper B, this week is set to be a nerve-wracking rollercoaster of fantasy football. With two teams set to advance and one facing elimination, the stakes couldn't be higher. There's even a slim chance for Cody, who could sneak into the playoffs if all other teams falter and he scores exceptionally high points.

This scenario epitomizes the essence of fantasy football: a game filled with highs and lows, driven by fierce competition. Despite no monetary stakes or direct impact on daily life, the game's intensity comes from the pursuit of bragging rights and the coveted Cereal Bowl trophy. It's this spirit of friendly rivalry and excitement that makes this league a standout favorite year after year, demonstrating the unique charm and passion that fantasy football brings to its enthusiasts.


Flapjack Dynasty VS Fruity Rebbles

This week's fantasy football matchup featuring Flapjack Dynasty against Fruity Rebbles is being labeled as the less impactful or "shit match of the week," primarily due to the minimal playoff implications for both teams. Scott, managing the Flapjack Dynasty and known as the "league Kitty," is riding high on a recent impressive victory over top contender Matt. Despite this morale boost, the final week of the regular season holds less significance for his playoff trajectory, as his team's position appears relatively secure regardless of this week's outcome.

On the other side, Ryan's Fruity Rebbles have locked in the #10 seed and secured a bye in the PSL tournament. While the playoff stakes might be low, Ryan's team showed potential last week, highlighted by strong performances from players like Deebo Samuel and Chuba Hubbard. The resurgence of Zack Moss as a primary player also boosts Fruity Rebbles' competitiveness for this week's game.

In essence, while the matchup might lack the high stakes usually associated with playoff-bound clashes, it still presents an opportunity for both Scott and Ryan to fine-tune their strategies and test their rosters' depth, providing valuable insights as they prepare for the post-season challenges ahead.

BCFFL Standings

Brinner Division:

French Toast Mafia 8-5       y z

Pancake Blockers 6-7

Dos Eggys 5-8 e

The Usyruper 5-8 e

Fruity Rebbles 2-11 e


Brunch Division:

Honey Bunches of Hoes 9-4 xz

Flapjack Dynasty 9-4 xz

Wheaties N Scotch 7-6

The Cereal Killers: 7-6

Scramblers FC 7-6


x: Clinched Playoffs

y: Clinched Division

z: Clinched Bye

e: Eliminated

Week 13 ESPN Power Rankings

Pick'em Standings:

Zach: 30-35

TJ: 32-33

Cody: 39-26

"And while I have no respect for the individuals of this league... I have a tremendous amount of respect for the league itself."- Rodney Ruxin